When I visit Kerala, while I love the shopping spree, people and nature, the one thing I am not a huge fan of is the involvement of the number of people with what I want to do. Example, the other day I was walking with my husband within the boundary walls of his huge house in Kerala. What I wanted to do was wear my pair of walking shoes and go for a long walk with music playing in my ears. And then the other time when I wished to window shop. The task of having to involve M or his family so that I could make my way through the traffic infested roads was so putting off. I wished to get away again.
Is this the need for independence? I would say No.
How do I explain?
Well, It's like having a butterfly heart. Light...Fluffy... Wanting to flutter... Fly... you know what I mean. Just being able to do those little nothings when you want.
About 12 years back one of my dad's colleagues and a very good friend got married. He brought home a very sweet, yet a lady with a spunk. She and I hit it off immediately. She was new to Delhi. And being a Mallu born and brought in Kerala, had a Hindi accent which used to make me giggle every time she spoke. We expected a demure young girl in her early 20s who had left her home for the first time and come to the Hindi-land to duck and wait for her husband to do everything for her.
But oh dear lord.... we were in for a surprise! She went the very next day for grocery shopping all by herself, and in her words, made a complete fool of herself. But came back home with a hell lot of grocery and veggies. In a matter of few days, she had more friends than my mother who had lived there for many years. Language was not a barrier. Nothing was.
She taught me something:
In order to make the world your friend, sometimes... sometimes go ahead and shock them!
I learnt another thing:
There is a certain beauty in being able to have those little moments to yourself. It helps you grow immensely.
Wherever I go, how much ever I go to an exotic place, no matter how much I enjoy, I always want to come back home. Someone truly said, Home is where heart is. This is where my heart and soul gets its nourishment.
Recently I saw a video. It was about connecting with nature and yourself. I will try to put it in my own words. It goes something like:
Beneath that kohl rimmed eyes, the branded clothes, the high heels, the shampooed hair and the dash of Nina Ricci perfume...Before I deck myself to meet the world, meet deadlines and give a peck on my friends' cheeks.... I am just Nature. I am just mud ... air and water. I am just Me.
To remain myself, I need a little more of those moments.
Labels: My musings