L.I.F.E

Today morning as I cooked, my son came up to me and said, “You know Amma, J said that he does not want to live anymore.” The meticulous round dosa that I was trying to make now looked a weird oblong. Cooking can wait, I thought. I turned towards him and asked him what he just said. He obviously repeated the same thing.

“But why would he say something like that?” I asked.

Now, if you are wondering who is J, let me tell you that he is my son’s best friend and is 10 years old.
“I know I asked him the same thing! He said we anyway have to die one day, then what’s the point anyway.” My 9 year old muttered.

I was on the verge of giving a dose of gyan session, then I stopped myself. Instead I asked, “What did you say?”

“I said I don’t agree with you J. Life is so exciting. There are so many fun things to do. We have school, friends, games, all the new things our parents buy for us.” His answer followed.

I couldn’t help but smile. All I could manage to say was, “You are right. Life is indeed exciting.”
He soon walked away to drink milk and got ready for school.

It is beyond my understanding how sometimes kids end up saying such magnanimous things and simply walk away. I wish I could get in their heads to know whether they are still thinking about it or it is one of those many things they simply say and forget about.

I have been quite inquisitive about what kids talk among them. Those precious animated discussions that my 4 year old daughter has with her tiny tot friends has made me squirm my ears just enough to hear atleast one word. There have been times when I have asked my son what is that he and his friends talk in length when it rains and they are unable to play football. His answer is mostly monosyllables or maximum… “Just like that…this and that.” And today is when I have come to know that they talk about life and well…. Death! Keeping my fingers crossed, after saying a little prayer I kept myself sane, thinking it could be just a heat of the moment small talk the kids had.

As I was back to making dosas, I wondered about the people who find themselves at that scary, at-the-edge point of their lives, when they no more want to live their lives. At that point, life is not something to be explored, experienced and enjoyed but an end to the means. What could probably help them? A friend, a good advice, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, an empathetic family member, or a visit to an expert?

Long back as a child, our maid’s daughter committed suicide by drinking poison. The reason was that she suspected her husband of infidelity. Deep in her heart she knew and was quite vocal about the fact that she was dark and therefore average looking, while her husband was fair and very handsome. But the point is that just moments before she died, she cried for help. When she saw someone had arrived to help her, she said that she wants to live and maybe it was all just a suspicion. She kept crying that she wanted to see her two young children grow. But it was too late by then. Our maid spent many days after this incident crying how her son in law was really depressed and kept wondering how in the world his beloved wife got that kind of an impression about him.

That incident came flowing into my mind and I pondered what could have helped her? A life that decided to come to a still, a soul whose purpose was achieved, an unfinished life…an answer refused to come to me.



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