My father used to always say that being Keralites settled in Delhi, we have no identity. Na hum yahaan ke hain, na hum wahaan ke. He felt that as much as we tried to behave like Mallus, we would try to inculcate North Indian-ism too.
I had a different thought. And I am speaking on behalf of just me. Keralites are one of their kind. Apart from a new year called Vishu and Kerala Day celebrated as Onam, we have no other festivals. Yup, that's true. No other festival. We are boring. To the extent that our marriages too are zzzzzz. I have always joked that its like getting married in a court, but with a hundred kilos of gold on the bride.
There are no ceremonies involved, no jazz, no sangeet, basically no such things which make a wedding a Band Baaja Bride. All that happens is the tying of thali by the groom around the bride's neck, in a temple. And there you go...you are husband and wife. And coming from the north, I have witnessed the best and dhing-chaks of the weddings.
Forget about weddings, I think every part of India, barring Kerala has a range of festivals and special days. I am a huge lover of festivals, special days and everything connected to all this. The dressing up, the doing up of homes, the poojas, mithais, the hugs, the smiles, the decking up...I love it all. As a Keralite I have missed all this in our culture. So I soaked up everything from the North. In the process of being a part of the social circle in Delhi, my parents too unknowingly embraced many of the customs. So, we started doing the Lakshmi pooja, celebrate Diwali, play Holi, enjoy all the 10 days of Dussera, and so on.
The one thing we never felt anything for was Raksha-Bhandhan. I am a single child. I wished all the while for a brother on whose wrists I could tie a rakhi just like all my friends. But it was never to happen.
And years later, today I have 2 kids: a boy and a girl. When N was born, I decided that she will tie a rakhi on her brother's wrist every year.
I purchase a rakhi every year and give it to N. She looks at her brother coyly (the way she does it the best) and then I tie it on behalf of her on A's wrist. Then A gives her a rupee coin.
Today morning too, she tied the rakhi on A's wrist, before they went off to school. I told him to give her a coin, and he gave ten bucks. I asked him why did he give ten bucks and not a rupee. He said, "It's ok. I have lots of money. She can have more than a rupee." (Sighhh)A asked me what he should do now that N ties a rakhi on his wrist every year.
I said, "You are not the only one to do anything. She and you have to love, support and stand by each other. Fight a lot and love a lot more."
A looked at N for a while and then smiled.
As a mother, I can just show them the path. I can just tell them it is family that sticks together. To witness it and believe in it, is going to be their experience.