While talking to an acquaintance recently, she spoke about how her son does not like to eat vegetables, she further said how her daughter gets very angry and then speaks rudely...just like her husband. I asked her why she does not make her daughter eat veggies or reprimand when she is rude. She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, that's impossible! She takes after her father. She has inherited his nature. She won't change."
I wish she understands that it need not be like that. I further wish that her daughter understands sooner than later that she does not have continue the legacy her father has 'passed' on to her.
M, while reading about neuro association told me how this is a mental and emotional conditioning phenomenon. Basically one of the meanings is that you tell yourself that you are the way you are because of the way your parents or genes are.
This is ok till the time things are positive or the way you are attuned is positive. But what about the things which is not positive?
The one thing a lot of my family members associate me with my father is my lack of patience or the way I get angry pretty quickly. There came a point of time, when the comparison became way too much for me to handle, and I realised that this neuro-association had to be broken. The battle was half won when I admitted that something is wrong and it needs to be fixed.
Just because there is a past reference does not mean that it has to continued. It really was not a throne I wanted to be passed on to. It took a while. Thanks to Reiki, self-motivation and M's support, it got better.
I am not saying that I have transformed myself into a saint, but yes, I know the point when it starts to get haywire. I give myself a rain check and it works.
It is really not easy to break a past pattern. It takes a lot of conviction, self belief and starts with the most important self-acceptance that YOU ARE WRONG and YOU NEED TO FIX IT. Sometimes, all it takes is to accept and say sorry.
So if you are sailing in the same boat, do take a while and try to accept that you do not have to continue the legacy.